hotel room ftw
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize