You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
