Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
