Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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