the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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