i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
