Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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