I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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