2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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