I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
