Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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