ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
