He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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