I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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