And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
