We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
