i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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