he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
