New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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