Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
