He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
