I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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