I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize