beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
