everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
