Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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