I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize