the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
