Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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