I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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