We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
