whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
