i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
