awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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