That's when you crack a 10am beer
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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