There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize