I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
