okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
