Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
