And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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