My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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