I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
