you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
