Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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