Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
