yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
