I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
