I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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