? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
