Do vagina's smell?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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