How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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