dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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