I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
