They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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