I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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