Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
