Don't you send me to vm
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
