Screwed.edu
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
