Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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